Three Intimacy Exercises

  1. 1. Feelings. Share 1-3 emotions or feelings each with each other. Something you felt during that day, whether today or lately but not about the other person (stay on yourself). Then share what that emotion reminds you of from your past. This gives context for your emotions and helps you to know each other better.
  2. 2. Affirmations. Share 1 affirmation (1 thing that you like, love or appreciate) that you have for the other (about their actions or character). The only acceptable response should be “thank you” (this avoids, minimizing, criticizing, or other intimacy-crippling involvements).
  3. 3. Prayer. Pray (out loud) for one another and with each other but not about each other. You can ask for what to pray for but you can also just pray as you’re lead but pray specifically and supportive. Pray their agenda, not yours.


  • Make this a sharing time rather than a conversation by not discussing what the other shares right then and there—perhaps the 24 hour rule will give the time more safety if you know you won’t have to discuss what you share immediately.
  • Agree on a time everyday that works for both schedules when you can spend 10-15:00 doing these exercises and re-evaluate after several months. Some couples may also need a back-up time in case they miss their target time.
  • Make as much eye-contact as you can; you don’t have to give each other the “death stare” but remember, “eyes are the window to the soul.”

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